Clear!

Don't have time to visit the gym right now? Here's an easy, fool proof way to increase your heart rate without ever leaving your car. 1) Drive to San Francisco to take in the holiday sights and atmosphere. 2) Cross the Bay Bridge and take the 5th Street exit. Proceed to Taylor and turn right. 3) Get ready now. Proceed up Taylor and turn right onto Sutter. 4) Feel your heartrate jump instantly into The Zone. Because Sutter is a one-way street and you just turned onto it going the wrong way!

That's what I did yesterday and realized my mistake immediately when all I could see was the front end view of 3 taxis approaching at taxi speeds. "Sh#t, sh*t, sh#t,sh*t" was my articulate response. But the amazing part was that the taxis were 3/4 of a block away, since they had been stopped at a red light. I made a Steve McQueen worthy U-turn across 4 lanes of Sutter and shot out of there like Santa going up the chimney. My friends (who may never let me be the driver again) said, "Let's not talk about this."

But I knew you'd all like this aerobic tip. Just try to time the red lights properly. Whew....

Aromatherapy

OMG, my house smells incredible right now. I just finished my Thanksgiving dishes:

Green Beans with Mushrooms, Bacon & Caramelized Onions ,

Honey Roasted Yams with Cayenne, Cinnamon,& Lime Juice,

and Gingerbread with Crystalized Ginger & Lemon Zest Whipped Cream.

I walked outside and almost swooned when I came back in - that's how good it is. If I could bottle it, I'd never have to worry about my 401k again. But I can't so maybe that makes it even more special. This is going to be good for my car too, as I drive across town in about 30 minutes.

Happy Feasting Everyone!

Thanks Full

Wow, it's only about 36 hours until our very special day of Thanksgiving, where we publicly celebrate all the wonderful, nice things in our lives. I try to do that in small ways everyday, but the holiday is so much more official. In addition to all the big things like family, friends, good job, good health, good health insurance, a home, 2 pets, adequate food & clothing, pleasant neighbors, and a generally enjoyable life here's a (very) random list of things I'm thankful for:

• iPod. I love my iPod!


• TV remote control - I can switch between House and Dancing with the Stars without disturbing the two cats on my lap.


• My Kitchen Aid mixer - responsible for my reputation as baker of killer brownies and chocolate chip cookies.


• Q-Tips. Useful for lots of tasks, not just for ears.


• Rotary fabric cutter. I still have a quilt I cut with scissors and a cardboard template, but that was so primitive. The rotary and ruler, like rules.


• An car with an automatic transmission. Especially when driving in San Francisco.


• Fast Track for the bridge tolls. Especially when driving to & from San Francisco.


• Hot water, bath soap, and deodorant. Makes public gatherings very pleasant. Without those, I would probably be a hermit.


• Netflix. Absence of those red envelopes can spur minor anxiety attacks.


• Supermarket grocery carts. Imagine trying to get all the Thanksgiving ingredients without one!


• Disposable soft contact lenses. I can wear sunglasses, ski goggles, and snorkeling mask, look better, and pretend to not need reading glasses.


• Black, 100% cotton, stretchy, elastic waist, comfortable sweatpants which are going to come in very handy over the next 5 weeks.
  

There's an even dozen. Have I forgotten anything important? Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Literary Smackdown

Pssssstttttt...... that's the sound of a rapidly deflating ego. Mine.

It started a couple of weeks ago when a friend forwarded a website link for amateur writers. It's an interesting site. Anonymous authors submit essays which are reviewed and ranked by anonymous readers. High ranking, ie popular, essays are awarded cash prizes. My friend likes my writing style and said "go for it!

So I did. I cut and pasted one of my blog pieces and spiffed it up a little bit. Then I waited for the anonymous reviews, assuming they would be impressed with my talents. Hah - I had a rude awakening. The reviews were less than complimentary. One said the piece "needs a lot of work". One said "story doesn't really lead anywhere special". One said I was "lacking in compassion" and another said "oddball. no heart." I'm not sure if they meant me or the essay!

My ego went down faster than Cindy-the-blow-up-doll when she was accidentally punctured with a nail file at my cousin's wild & crazy bachelorette party. I moped around the house for a couple of hours thinking about what a cold, heartless, insensitive, mediocre writer I am. Then I started to get irritated. So I logged back on the site to read some of the prize winning essays. Then I got really irritated. For the ones which had the most reviews and highest ratings were not all well written, but they are all very sad or emotional - tear jerkers about trauma or drama or painful life experiences.

I'm onto them now. I am going to resubmit. If they want emotion, I can do that. Nobody is going to say "needs a lot of work" about my next piece. I'll keep you posted.

Global Warming

Seasonal change in my part of California is very fluid. It see-saws back and forth, rather than sliding smoothly across the calendar. For example, last weekend the sky was overcast and gray, temperatures were in the mid-50's, the furnace kicked on every 45 minutes, and I made a big pot of chicken chili. The season was late fall, sliding into early winter.

But this weekend? Not a single cloud, temps in the high 80's and at 8:30 p.m. last night I had windows and doors open to let the house cool off. I had grilled salmon and green salad for dinner. On November 15th. The season was early fall, sliding backwards to late summer.

I'm not trying to say this is a problem - but it is disorienting at times. The trees where I work do not seem confused tho - they definitely know it's autumn!

Please Don't Tell Michelle

OK, now I KNOW this presidential campaign has melted my brain. Obama was in my dreams last night, and it wasn't a Martin Luther King "I have a dream" theme. More like a Bill Clinton "I am a dream boat" kind of theme. Thanks goodness all I did (in the dream) was reach out and touch his fingertips. Those long, slender, sensitive looking fingertips. Geez Louise! He's a married man with two kids and he's ten years younger than I am. Besides, I hate politics.

This could be an interesting four years. I'm turning off CNN. What happens in the subconscious should stay in the subconscious. I swear to all my fellow Americans - that is NOT why I voted for him!

Country First

Several members of my family have gone beyond patriotic slogans and gestures. They've served in the military and given precious years to their country. This post is for them.

My Dad: US Army, WWII, South Pacific

My Oldest Brother: Infantry, US Marine Corps., Vietnam

My 2nd Brother: US Navy, USS Coral Sea, Vietnam

My Oldest Nephew: US Marine Corps, Desert Storm, Kuwait

My 2nd Nephew: US Marine Corps, Desert Storm, Kuwait

My 2nd Nephew's Wife: US Marine Corps, Desert Storm, Kuwait (romance in the desert!)

My 4th Niece's Husband: US Marine Corps Reserve, Iraq

My 11th Nephew: Oregon National Guard, Army Reserve, slated for Afghanistan June 2009

Thank you soldiers and sailor. Mission Accomplished.

This Little Piggy

My Missouri Grandmother had a folk-art plaque in her kitchen which read "Never wallow with a pig. You'll both get dirty but the pig likes it."

Gramma, I've been wallowing with the pigs. Our local newspaper has an on-line site, of course, where readers can leave comments on items of interest. This was heavily used during the election and the most commented one right now is the "what will Sarah Palin do next?" article. There seems to be a small, but adamantly devoted, ultra-conservative faction here in town and they post frequent, repetitive, negative & under-educated opinions. I've been drawn to it like a fly to pig manure.

But the thing is, it's way too easy to get them ruffled and riled. I'm guilty of manipulation because I recognize the hot buttons and know how to express some things in ways guaranteed to stir up the stye. I'm swearing off it tho. It's not a good use of my time and not a productive way to move our country forward. So, I'm making a virtual vow - no more intentional pig prodding or slop sloshing. I'm pulling my boots out of the muck and retreating to drier ground.

The rest of the little piglets can keep snorting but my snout is out. (and no, I'm not trying to insult anyone with the pig reference - it's just a literary expression.) Oink.